Time and time again, I am amazed by the power of my prayers. I have prayed and it was given to me, and even more.

I wouldn’t say I am a very religious person. I was raised Catholic, and the teachings of my family and school was never a thing I took seriously. I would attend (with much pressure and nagging) mass and basically, drone through the ceremony. I graduated from an all-girls Catholic school, taught by nuns and was mentored by a Priest. Everything, till now, was taken for granted and underestimated.

I have started praying again. And during these prayers, I have found somewhat, a little bit of peace.

It feels good that whenever I strike a conversation with God, through my crazy prayers, I am more at ease and know that He has something up his sleeve.

Just recently, I was blessed with a very nice surprise. And I can’t help but be grateful and thankful that He didn’t let me hurt anymore, to toil away senselessly. He made it so easier for me. No resisting necessary. A friend told me simply to trust, and I did.

Now, I am preparing for my transition, and still praying.

I dedicate this entry to Him:

You have been so good to me; I don’t know how I’ve even deserved any of the wonderful things you gave me. I am not worthy of it, and you know fully well why. But time and time again, you astound me with the power of your love. You, my protector, my friend, have always been there for me, when I haven’t been there for you.

Thank you for loving me, for providing for me and making everything so easy for me.

I am your child and I pray, Lord, that you guide me well, that I may never stray as I often do. Help me become an example of your love.

I don’t know what my purpose on this earth is, but I know you have bigger plans for me and for the first time, in a long time, I entrust my life to you, that your promises may be fulfilled.

  

 
Looking for inspiration has been such a challenge for me lately. I am in constant search and I don’t know exactly what I am looking for.

A friend of mine said that maybe I just need time off, to get my thoughts in order. A retreat perhaps. Maybe, maybe not.

Am I just particularly bored  and jaded with everything?
Where is the passion?
Where is the purpose?
What am I really here for?

I am at odds with myself.

Do you think I need time out? I just got off vacation last week and still no light at the end of the tunnel.
Should I just give it all up? My writing? Maybe set off another career?

I have been writing since I can remember. I know I am better at expressing myself when I write and to give that all up because I can’t figure out what to do is killing me.